


Say You Won't Let Go

by amandateaches



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Near Death Experiences, POV Dean Winchester, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-19 17:50:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17006316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amandateaches/pseuds/amandateaches
Summary: What does Dean feel when the woman he loves is dying? Will he get the chance to tell her how he feels or is it too late?





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> I got inspired by the song “Say You Won’t Let Go” by James Arthur, for this fic. It’s a bit of sweet angst from Dean’s POV. The first part ends angsty, but the second part, written by popular demand, fixes it with a happy ending.

I saw her go down hard, her body hitting the ground with a loud thump, her eyes falling closed as her head fell back. I vaguely heard a scream, not even registering it as my own, as I ran towards her, beheading the vamp who had stabbed her as I went. I fell to my knees, pulling her towards me, cradling her limp body in my arms.

“Y/N! Y/N! You’re ok. You’re gonna be ok. Come on, Y/N, talk to me!”

“Dean!” I didn’t turn around when Sam ran up and came to stop behind me, his hand gently landing on my shoulder. I couldn’t bear to take my eyes off her to look back at him, not even for a second.

“It’s not looking good, Sammy.” My voice sounded deep, full of emotion, almost foreign to my ears. “She’s bleeding a lot and she won’t open her eyes.”

I heard a sharp intake of breath behind me, followed by a deep exhale, like Sam was also fighting to maintain control of his emotions. “I’ll get Cas.” He turned to go outside, but paused and turned back to me. “Don’t worry, Dean. She’ll be fine. She’s a fighter.”

I nodded weakly, my eyes staying fixed on her. “Hurry,” I whispered, tightening my hold on Y/N as I sent up my own silent prayer to Cas. Sam turned again to run outside so he could lead Cas back to us when he arrived. I listened for a second, hearing Sam’s footsteps grow quieter the further away he got, before I refocused my attention back on Y/N.

Her hair fell across her face, and I gently pushed it aside, looking at the way her chest was slowly rising and falling, her breathing becoming staggered, hoping beyond hope that she could hold on until Cas got here.

I studied her face more closely, the face I had seen so many times, that I had long ago memorized. I had seen it happy, when she was dancing around singing along to classic rock without a care in the world. Or whenever she would share her latest theory about a hunt, full of excitement and interest. I had seen it sad, like the day she had broken down after losing her parents. Or the times she had blamed herself when we weren’t fast enough to save a victim.

I had seen her face every day for the past two years, in every different circumstance imaginable, and I had easily fallen in love with it. With her. Everything about her, even the stubborn, infuriating parts. One smile from her could brighten my whole day, hell, my whole week. And, I couldn’t lose her now. I wouldn’t.

“Come on, Y/N. Please, honey, just stay with me. Please…”

I knew I loved you then  
But you’d never know  
‘Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go  
I know I needed you  
But I never showed  
But I wanna stay with you until we’re grey and old  
Just say you won’t let go  
Just say you won’t let go

I’d thought of telling her I loved her a thousand times before. But, something had always gotten in the way. The timing wasn’t right, or I’d chickened out, or, more often than not, I’d pulled away. I’d convinced myself that I wasn’t good enough for her. That everything I’d ever loved was gone, because of me. That she would end up suffering if I got too close. That staying away from her would somehow protect her. She’d be better off. But, now, looking down at her, watching the life fade out of her, I would give anything to go back to one of those moments, any of those moments, and tell her how head over heels in love with her I really am.

“Just a little bit longer, Y/N.” I looked down at her again, praying that she would open her eyes and flash me that ridiculous, heart-stopping smile I loved so much. “Cas will be here any second. You just have to hold on.”

“Dean…” She moaned my name out so softly, I almost missed it, but it was there. She was there. Alive and saying my name.

I tightened my hold around her and pulled her closer to my chest. “I’m right here, honey. I’m right here. Cas is on his way. You’re gonna be just fine.”

“Dean…”

“Shh, Y/N…Don’t talk. You need to save your strength.” I gave her a small smile, trying to hide the fear that was building inside of me as I watched the woman I love grow weaker and weaker.

“Dean, this is serious.” She paused and drew in her breath, her face scrunching up in pain. “I’m dying.”

My heart dropped. “Y/N, no….”

“No, Dean, stop. I’m dying, so shut up and listen to me for once in your life. I have to tell you something.”

I’m so in love with you  
And I hope you know  
Darling your love is more than worth its weight in gold  
We’ve come so far my dear  
Look how we’ve grown  
And I wanna stay with you until we’re grey and old  
Just say you won’t let go  
Just say you won’t let go

“I love you, Dean. I’ve always loved you and I will always love you. Forever.”

I could feel my heart expand, like a weight was being lifted off of it. She loved me. After all this time, I finally knew. Really truly knew. She loved me. And, I loved her. And, there was no way in hell I was going to let that go. Not when I was so close to having everything I’d ever wanted.

But, before I could say anything, tell her how much I love her back or how much of an idiot I am for having waited this long, I felt her go limp in my arms. Her eyes fluttered shut and her head fell back.

“Y/N! Dammit, Y/N, don’t do this.” I laid her down and felt around for a pulse. It was faint and fading fast. “Hold on!”

I could feel her slipping away. I fought back tears, screaming Sam and Cas’ names. Screaming for help. Screaming for anyone.

“Please, Y/N, please. Don’t leave me. Not now. Not like this. I need you. I….I love you. Please, Y/N. There ain’t no me if there ain’t no you! Y/N!!!!!!!!”

I wanna live with you  
Even when we’re ghosts  
'Cause you were always there for me when I needed you most

I’m gonna love you till  
My lungs give out  
I promise till death we part like in our vows  
So I wrote this song for you, now everybody knows  
'Cause now it’s just you and me till we’re grey and old  
Just say you won’t let go  
Just say you won’t let go

“Please, honey, please. I love you. Stay with me, Y/N.” I let the tears fall then, clouding my vision. I could hear Cas and Sam coming, but I didn’t move. I couldn’t move. All I could see was her. Perfect, beautiful, wonderful Y/N. Leaving me.

Just say you won’t let go  
Oh, Just say you won’t let go


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N barely survived her brush with death and now lays in coma. Will she ever wake up so Dean will finally be able to tell her how he feels?

“Dean…”

“Dean…”

I shook myself out the trance I was in and stared up at Sam, who was standing behind me holding a cup of coffee. I grinned, trying to hide my worry from him. “Is that all you brought? What, no beer?”

Sam frowned and looked back at me with sympathy, which was almost worse than the brotherly annoyance I was expecting.

“Dean…You need to drink this. Unless, you want to rethink my earlier advice and finally take a break. You’re running on empty. You should really get some sleep.”

My face hardened. “No. Out of the question.”

“Dean…”

“No, Sam,” I snapped, the hard edge to my voice quieting him. “I’m not leaving her.”

He nodded, a look of understanding passing into his eyes, before looking behind me. I followed his gaze to where Y/N was lying on her bed. She looked so peaceful and beautiful, like she was sleeping and would wake up at any second and grumble at us for talking too loud. But, she wasn’t waking up. At least, not yet.

Sam cleared his throat, drawing my attention again. “Dean, it’s been two days. You can’t keep vigil like this. Your body needs rest.”

“I’m not leaving her, Sammy. I…” I paused and cleared my throat. “I can’t.”

Sam sighed, nodding again. “Ok,” he said, backing down, “but, the least you can do is drink the coffee. Keep your strength up. Cas said she had lost a lot of blood by the time he got to her. It could take days for her body to heal enough for her to wake up.”

“But, she will wake up,” I said with conviction. I grabbed the coffee from Sam’s outstretched hand and gulped some of it down. “And, I’m gonna be right here when she does.”

“Dean?”

I shook myself awake, my eyes seeking out the person who had called my name. I was expecting Cas or Sam again with another pointless attempt to get me to rest, but my eyes were instead met by Y/N’s gorgeous Y/E/C ones.

I instinctively moved towards her and grasped her hand, gripping it desperately as if that would guarantee that I could keep her here with me forever.

She focused her gaze on me before speaking in a quiet, raspy voice, weakened by the days of inactivity. “What…what happened?”

I heaved a sigh of relief at the sound of her voice before answering her question. “You were hurt in our last hunt. It was bad, Y/N. Real bad. We…we almost lost you, but Cas brought you back.”

“Really?”

I paused, my heart sinking. “Wait…Don’t you remember?”

She scrunched her face up in concentration before giving up and gently shaking her head. “No.”

“Oh…” My face fell. She didn’t remember getting hurt. Which means she didn’t remember telling me she loved me. Or me telling her I loved her back.

I immediately masked the sadness on my face when I noticed worry flashing through her eyes. It didn’t matter if she remembered or not. All that mattered was that she was alive and I had a second chance to tell her how I feel. And, now that I know she feels the same way, I wasn’t going to blow it.

I gripped her hand tighter, drawing her attention. “Y/N, I need to tell you something.”

She grabbed my free arm and used it to pull herself up into a sitting position so her face was directly in front of mine, at eye-level. “What is it?”

I took a deep breath. “Y/N, when you were attacked, it scared the hell out of me. I was afraid I’d lose you. I couldn’t lose you.”

“Dean…”

I held my hand up. “Please, Y/N, let me finish. I need to get this out.”

She nodded, so I continued. “When I was waiting for Cas, I prayed that he would get there in time. I prayed like I had never prayed before. All I could think about while I was waiting was what my life would be like without you. I imagined it all. And, frankly, it sucked.”

Y/N laughed quietly, making me pause and smile. She always found a way to make me smile, no matter how badly I felt. I gripped her hand tighter. “See? That’s exactly the kind of stuff I’m talking about. Your laugh. I couldn’t live without hearing you laugh every day. I wouldn’t want to.”

She moved her free hand up to my face. “You don’t have to, Dean. I’m fine. Nothing’s changed.”

“What if I want it to change?” Her hand fell from my face as her eyes narrowed, full of confusion, and something else: hope. That underlying hope, along with the knowledge that she really did love me, gave me the courage to push on. “Y/N, I don’t want things to just stay the same. When I said I can’t imagine my life without you, I didn’t mean just as a friend. I want more than that.”

Her eyes widened with realization, bringing the smile back to my face. “More?”

“More. I love you, Y/N. I want to be with you. I want your laugh and everything that goes with it. I want you.”

She smiled widely, the happiness shining through on her face. “I want that too, Dean. I love you.”

That was all the confirmation I needed. I leaned in and kissed her, gently at first, but with more passion as I felt her lips respond beneath mine. When we drew apart, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close, happy to just hold her and listen to her breathe in and out.

She pulled back after a minute and looked up at me with a smile. “Remind me to thank Cas later for saving me. I definitely owe him one.”

“Yeah,” I whispered, pulling her back into my arms. “So do I. So do I.”


End file.
